I have a question for you.

Which one factor is absolutely fundamental to women having a healthy sex drive?

Is it having "the ideal body", which we're convinced will make us the desire of every man?
Is it owning and wearing the most exquisite lingerie you can buy?
Is it being a yogi - gymnast so you can act out the entire Kamasutra without breaking a sweat?
Is it re-training your brain to think, breathe and live sex by mulling over your sexual fantasies and doing libido-boosting visualisations daily?
Is it having a sexually adventurous, Samantha Jones-esque personality and not being afraid to search sex shops far and wide for the latest and greatest toys?
Is it being comfortable with and well-practised at masturbation so you're familiar with what your body likes?
Is it being assertive and vocal in bed, and being able to confidently ask for what you want?

It's NONE of these. Whilst some of these are important ingredients to a healthy sex life, there's a HUGELY fundamental sex drive-promoting necessity that's glaringly absent from this list.

The most important thing you can do as far as your desire for sex goes?

It's having enough fat on your body.

Yep, having enough or ample fat, not as little fat as possible.

​If, like most women, you're weight loss dieting... if you're partly starving and/or overexercising your body to get down to or maintain the levels of body fat approaching that of fitness and fashion models (the official body type desired by the average woman in our culture because we think it will buy sexuality)... 

... then your fertility, your sexual desire, your fitness, your energy levels, and of course your overall health, will actually suffer.

​And without these things, even the most dedicated Kamasutra practitioner, sex toy aficionada, "perfect" figured gym-bunny, or modern woman with sex communication skills of steel will not be able to get it on... let alone get off.

Do you watch what you eat?

Do you spend all day thinking about and planning your meals?
​Are you "careful" with your food choices?
Do you have rules and judgement around food?
Do you try to make the "best" or "healthiest" decision every time you eat something?
Do you struggle with weight concern, emotional eating, binging, and/or food obsession?

If so, you might want to take a look at your personal diet mentality.

Diet mentality, or diet thinking, leads to dieting behaviours. And dieting behaviours build a cage around a person that places serious limits on their capacity to live and enjoy a rich, full, and meaningful life.
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​If there was ever an opportune time for us as individuals to slay our own private diet mentalities and weight biases - and for us to collectively dismantle the very diet culture that it stands upon - NOW is the time.

The next new moon falls on Wednesday, April 26th. This mid-autumn moon cycle is known in many parts of the world as the Blood Moon or Hunter's Moon. And it is the perfect time for you to put this diet thing to bed, for good.

Read on for 7 hard-core (but realistic) ways to slay that MF beast that is the diet mentality!

Body image. 

It’s the way we perceive our bodies, and the way we assume others perceive us. And it’s the thoughts, feelings, attitudes and beliefs we have about our bodies as a result.

The key word here is perceive. Body image is not based on fact.

It is learned.

Learned from our society’s manufactured and constantly changing ideals of beauty, health and fitness. Learned from relatives, friends and other people in our lives. Learned from the cultures and environments we have been exposed to.

Body image is a huge topic. Before listing 20 of my favourite signs that your body image is on the mend, I want to disclose that I am a cis-het biracial woman with thin privilege. This article is geared towards women in particular, because that is my lived experience. I can’t begin to imagine how many more magnitudes of difficulty are involved in body image work for those who are not gender conforming, are BIPOC, and/or live in a larger body, an older body, or a disabled body.

I believe that we all deserve to accept, respect, appreciate and enjoy our bodies and all that they do for us - regardless of size, weight, shape, colour, race, ability, and gender.

I also recognise that developing more body satisfaction, confidence, love, acceptance, or even body neutrality will look and feel different for everyone. 

And that this can be fucking hard work.

If meditation were a musical genre I dare say it would be metal and all of its sub genres. Here’s a few reasons why.
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​I love metal music. Mostly good old stuff like Metallica, but also alternative metal, and a little bit of crazy glam metal. I love that it can be dark, gritty, and sinister… or energising and transcendental, depending on which genre and artist you listen to. Its wide spectrum of emotive expression mirrors and brings to light the psychological reality of most human beings.
 
When we meditate, we shine a bright stage light onto this same reality.
 
Meditation is instinctive, natural, and expressive. People slip into meditative states spontaneously whilst watching a sunrise, listening to a brilliant crescendo of riffs and drums at a concert, or lying in bed after lovemaking. Even whilst experiencing a car crash recently, time seemed to slow down and for a brief moment, I was hyper-aware of what was going on.