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Casey's blog

Disordered eating & other attempts to feel safe

16/8/2016

 
Picture
I painted this when I was 30 weeks pregnant and desperately seeking solid ground and a place to hide.
In my work, I see people overeat, binge, emotionally eat, purge, restrict, starve, diet, dogmatically detox, clean-eat and over-exercise... In an attempt to feel a sense of safety, normality, rightness, and to quell uncomfortable feelings, if only it works temporarily.

In my past, I've done all these things and more in my quest for certainty and safety. Other options are alcohol, drugs, sex addiction, consumerism, workaholism etc.

We tend to judge ourselves harshly when we clamber for solid ground in these ways - especially when that stability doesn't last. Then it's back to the over or under eating, dieting, compulsive shopping, etc.
The ground is constantly splitting open, crumbling under our feet, leaving us feeling unsteady all over again. In the words of Pema Chödrön this is called the fundamental ambiguity of being human.

What if, instead of chastising ourselves for eating that cake, or for exercising ourselves into injury... For being "flawed", we could understand that we do these things because we want to feel happy, safe, loved and comfortable - just like every other human?

What if we remembered our powerful conditioning to constantly seek stable ground and to freak out when confronted with groundlessness?

What if we started to flow with flux?
To be ok with earthquakes, even embrace them?
To relax into the unknown?

​It's the ultimate way of giving the finger to our conditioning - and eventually, of bringing about true change.
Carol Guthrie
9/7/2022 06:23:34 am

I agree. Stressing about my eating issues tends to make them worse. I didn’t have an eating disorder until a physician told me to lose a few pounds. Literally - three pounds. I was not overweight at the time. Since then, I have been on the roller coaster of diet, lose weight, binge, gain more weight, diet… I am “obese” now. I used to know how much to eat, not I worry over everything. A local dietician recommended that I read Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Resch. I am loving it. However, I think that reading about it doesn’t quite translate into practice.

JustMe
1/12/2022 12:08:42 pm

hi I wanted to say that this art is beautiful ,I wanted ro comment to say that,, the post is a good read too so thank you but yah wow that is really something those roots and the new growth 🍃🌿🌱🌿🍃sapling


Comments are closed.

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